Given to quantifying his experiences, Croach the Tracker has rated various experiences as follows:

Finest Humans Ever Encountered Edit

  1. Red Plains Rider[1]
  2. Unknown
  3. Sparks Nevada[1]

Greatest Feeling Edit

  1. Whatever Doc Sudo Ersatz did to cause Croach to emulate human whistling[2]

Greatest Pleasure Edit

  1. (hypothetical) To die while saving G'loot Praktaw[3]

Greatest Quantities of Confidence Edit

  1. When preparing to overcome the threat of technology/science beings with Cactoid Jim[4]

Greatest Spectacles Seen Edit

  1. Cactoid Jim orating[4]

Most Delicious Beverages Edit

  1. Hot cocoa[5]

Most Despondent Feelings Edit

  1. Unknown
  2. Unknown
  3. Unknown
  4. Exiling himself for being unable to fulfill his onus to Sparks after Cactoid Jim is made deputy[6]

Most Disconcerting Feelings Edit

  1. Unknown
  2. Unknown
  3. Unknown
  4. Being right-side outed[7]
  5. Being inside-outed[7]
  6. Baby spiders hatching inside his body[7]

Most Enjoyable Sensations Edit

  1. Unknown
  2. Unknown
  3. Unknown
  4. Unknown
  5. (possible) Laughing while in Sparks' body[8]
  6. (possible) Laughing while in Sparks' body[8]

Most Euphoric Sensations Edit

  1. Love (experienced by holo-Croach)[9]

Most Painful Sensations Edit

  1. Being squeezed by stasis field[3]
  2. Unknown
  3. Unknown
  4. Being shot by Sparks[10] (see note 2)
  5. Being stepped on by a particular robot[11] (see note 2)


  1. Being punched by Sparks Nevada does not even register in the Greatest Pains Croach has ever felt.[3]
  2. Unclear if Being shot by Sparks ties with Being stepped on or if Being stepped on was bumped down by the later experience.

Most Pleasurable Proposition Edit

  1. Unknown
  2. Unknown
  3. Unknown
  4. Manually overriding Sparks Nevada (experienced by holo-Croach)[9]

Most Polite Entity Edit

  1. The Saloon Doors[12]

Strangest Sensations Edit

  1. Swapping bodies with Sparks Nevada[6]

Worst Feelings Edit

  1. Mercy Laredo not affirming the end of Croach's onus (possibly exacerbated by having been shot)[10]

Worst Witness to a Maturation Ritual Edit

  1. Firth the Easily Distracted[13]
  2. Sparks Nevada[13]

Note: Sparks is the worst Witness since Firth,[13] so there might have been worse Witnesses.

Finest Teeth and HairEdit

References Edit

  1. 1.0 1.1 Inside Out In Outer Space... Again! (TAH #19)
  2. Space Oil (TAH #175)
  3. 3.0 3.1 3.2 Sparks Nevada's "I'm from Earth" Day Special (TAH #118)
  4. 4.0 4.1 Do the Fight Thing (TAH #57)
  5. Blast from the Past (TAH #14)
  6. 6.0 6.1 The Return of Croach the Tracker and the Introduction of Two New Important Characters! (TAH #47)
  7. 7.0 7.1 7.2 Spiders, Man (TAH #24)
  8. 8.0 8.1 A Mind is a Terrible Thing... In Space! (TAH #51)
  9. 9.0 9.1 Danger 2.0 (TAH #27)
  10. 10.0 10.1 Red Alert (TAH #95)
  11. Original Graphic Novel
  12. The Piano has Been Thinking (TAH #70)
  13. 13.0 13.1 13.2 Wild, Wild Quest (TAH #177)
  14. The Great Thrilling Adventure Hour / Welcome to Night Vale Crossover

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