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"I Don't Want no Trouble in My Place" is a song in The Piano has Been Thinking, the musical episode of Sparks Nevada, Marshal on Mars.

Written by Andy Paley.

Performed by: The Barkeep and Felton (Joshua Malina and Craig Cackowski).


Barkeep
Oh I don't want no trouble in my place
I don't want no trouble in my place
I'm a law-abiding member of this here human race

Barkeep/Felton
And I / he don't want no trouble in my / his place


Felton
An old lady walked in looking for directions

(Barkeep: Sure did!)

Sometimes old folks get lost in outer space

(Barkeep: All the time!)

You bounced her out despite her loud objections

(Barkeep: Of course!)

Barkeep/Felton
Cause I / he don't want no trouble in my / his place


Barkeep
A troop came in a'selling Girl Scout Cookies

(Felton: Woo!  Samoas!)

They asked me if I wanted one to taste

But they could have been a gang of Girl Scout Crookies

(Felton: They coulda!)

Barkeep/Felton
And I / he don't want no trouble in my / his place


Barkeep
Take it outside, I'm a peaceable man
Don't want to be no witness to no rubble

(Felton: No sir!)

You've got a whole town square
to spit and cuss and swear
Or if you want a fracas or a tumble!

(Felton: No thank you!)


Felton
The Friday poker game was ballyhooing

(Barkeep: Yup!)

When Piston Pete pulled out that extra ace

(Barkeep: He'll do that!)

Barkeep
I cashed their chips, I smelled a ruckus brewing

Barkeep/Felton
Cause I / he don't want no trouble in my / his place


Barkeep
The Halley’s Comet Gang it came a calling
A gunning for a town to lay to waste

Felton
You said "Take it to O'Toole's with all your brawling"

Barkeep
Cause O'Toole he likes that trouble in his place!

(Felton: I never understood that.)


Barkeep/Felton
I / he don't want no trouble in my / his place
I / he don't want no trouble in my / his place

Barkeep
Look at this law-abiding, easy-riding, bona-fiding face

(Felton: I'm looking!)

Barkeep/Felton
I / he don't want no trouble in my / his place!

Chords Edit

Unofficial chords for this song can be found here

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