Into Darkness is an episode of Sparks Nevada, Marshal on Mars.


Episode Audio from Nerdist


WorkJuice PlayersEdit

Guest StarsEdit

Detailed DescriptionEdit

The Red Plains Rider, having just gone into labor, has just taken a DNA test to prove once and for all who the father of her baby is.  

Sparks asks Croach what he is supposed to be doing besides being here, but Croach reminds Sparks that the planet is cleaned up, so he has nothing better to do but go to the saloon and drink, and then he could die again.  Alloy Roy is also still in the Marshal Station jail, and wants to see how things play out, as does the Marshal Station AI.

Sparks asks the the Marshal Station Doors to call a doctor, but she says that there's a stampede and the doctor is delayed.  There are no doctors or scientists (who aren't mad scientists) nearby, so no one is around to assist with the birth.  The infirmary has also been destroyed by the stampede.  

The DNA test finishes and proves that Sparks Nevada is the father of Red's baby.

The Doors informs Sparks that there is a USSA starcraft in Mars' orbit, and there are infirmaries on USSA ships.  Captain Sandy Manlius beams down with news on the Jupiter Spy.  When he sees Red is in labor, he beams down the XO, who used to be the ship's doctor. 

Glenn, the XO, is Sandy Manlius' husband and enjoys corny jokes, which irritates Red.  Croach relocates all the weapons in the station to the safe so Red doesn't shoot Glenn, or anyone else.

Red then delivers the baby, with the help of the future's painless and instant childbirthing technology.  The baby is a female, and she is ginger.  Sparks wants to hold her, but Red holds her first.

Sandy redirects Sparks' attention to the reason he's at Mars in the first place: to talk about Jib Janeen, the Jupiter Spy.  He says that the USSA went to a star war over the matter, which is ongoing.  He says that the Jupiter Spy is back on Mars even now.  Former XO Antoinette Fontaine's husband was killed by a Jupiterian, possibly Jib Janeen.  She was removed from her station after her husband's death and went a little mad with grief.  Fontaine says the Jupiter Spy is on Mars, and Manlius has her beamed down.

When Antoinette arrives, she is actually Jib Janeen.  After spotting Red's baby, Janeen announces that he is not Antoinette Fontaine but actually the Jupiter Spy and the baby is his.  He explains that Jupiterians don't just shapeshift, they become the person they're impersonating on a molecular level.  He shapeshifts into Sparks Nevada, Cactoid Jim, and Croach to prove the point before showing his true form, which is very purple.

Janeen says that Antoinette is in a carbon freeze on planet XK9B.  He says Cactoid Jim is also carbon freeze, and Janeen sold him to some aliens who were mad at Jim for something and are using him as a coffee table.  He then says he's going to take his baby and leave.  Red insists the baby is hers, but Janeen explains she's just the carrier, he impregnated her while disguised as Sparks Nevada, and thus appeared to have Sparks' DNA. The baby shapeshifts into its true form, proving it is a Jupitarian.  

Red doesn't care and insists on keeping the baby until Janeen explains that the baby releases a toxin that causes people to love her.  Red would need to be able to excrete an organic saline nutrient bath to nurture the child.  Red realizes she can't properly care for the baby and gives her to Janeen so the baby doesn't starve to death, and threatens to kill Janeen once the child is older.  Janeen leaves, and Red vows again to kill him after she finds and rescues Cactoid Jim, then leaves with the USSA men.

Sparks laments that he never got to hold the baby.  

Croach, in an attempt to cheer Sparks up, announces big news of his own: he has been fertilized, and the fertilizer is Sparks Nevada.


This is the 131st episode of The Thrilling Adventure Hour.  The previous episode was #130 The Adventures of Captain Laserbeam - Paperback Fighter!  The next episode is #132 A Sneak Peek of Eban Schletter's new Podcast.  The previous episode in Sparks Nevada canon was #127 Wanted Men, the next episode is #135 Station Break.


This episode was recorded at Largo on May 4, 2013 and released on August 26, 2013.

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