Mortified on Mars is an episode of Sparks Nevada, Marshal on Mars.
- Sparks Nevada - Marc Evan Jackson
- The Barkeep - Joshua Malina
- Alex Cartwright - Annie Savage
- Folksy Hal (Narrator) - Hal Lublin
- Pembroke Cartwright aka Cookie aka The Dad Kid - Andy Richter
- Highwayman Dan - Mark McConville
- NiceMan Dan - Jim Beaver
Having caught Highwayman Dan, Sparks and the Barkeep continue on the hypercattle drive. Alex writes in her diary about the day, how Dan stabbed the Barkeep and her dad saved everyone.
The Barkeep is still grumpy about getting stabbed, but Sparks insists they all sing. Sparks, Barkeep, Pembroke, Alex and even Dan join in on singing "Riding the Galactic Trail". Sparks complains to Pembroke about having way too much foam for food, and asks for more actual food. Pembroke, on the other hand, is upset that Highwayman Dan is sleeping so close to the group. Sparks says he'll take Dan to jail in the morning and not to worry about it.
Everyone heads to sleep while Sparks insists on taking the watch. In the morning, they awake to see Sparks had been knocked out in the night and the hypercattle, Dan and the Barkeep are all missing. A note, attached to a nearby tree with Stabby LaRoux is found. In it, NiceMan Dan apologizes and admits to stealing the cattle, rescuing his son and taking the Barkeep hostage.
Pembroke is outraged, but Sparks easily tracks the hypercattle. There, NiceMan apologizes for knocking Sparks Nevada out. They see the hypercattle floating in the air a ways off. NiceMan Dan says that he's prepared a well-planned scheme so he and his boy can get away cleanly, to show his boy the benefit of planning ahead.
NiceMan Dan has tied the Barkeep to a nearby tree, and the cattle about a mile away. He tells Sparks he can save the Barkeep, but he is taking the cows. Sparks says no deal, so NiceMan Dan has Highwayman Dan untie the Barkeep. NiceMan Dan then removes the gravity in the area, so everyone starts to float away. Both father and son have jetpacks, so they soon leave to finish rustling the hypercattle.
Sparks, Alex, Pembroke and the Barkeep lasso themselves together, but keep floating away into the atmosphere as Sparks can't lasso on to anything else as they've floated away too much. The Barkeep then realizes Pembroke has several cans of foams in his cooking satchel, and they use the pressure in the foam cans to propel themselves back to the ground.
The episode ends there, it's unknown whether the Cartwrights ever got their hypercattle back.
- Much to Sparks' annoyance, the Barkeep jumps in and sings parts of the Sparks Nevada theme song in this episode as well.
- Sparks explains that he is still not the marshal in the intro, while the Barkeep still don't want no trouble in his place.
- Episode commentary by Ben Blacker.
- This is the 78th episode of The Thrilling Adventure Hour.
- The previous episode is #77 War of Two Worlds - The People's President (Part Five).
- The next episode is #79 Captain Laserbeam - Tinker Taylor and Tyler Too!
- The previous episode in Sparks Nevada canon is #74 - Hypercattle Overdrive.
- The next in Sparks Nevada canon is episode #82 - One Night at O'Toole's.
This episode was recorded at Largo on February 4, 2012 and released July 2nd, 2012.