NASA is shut down. On the same day, grey-skinned Martians invade Earth.
The Martian invasion lasts several months.
At what was to be the final game of the possibly final World Series ever, Jim Lyons, a baseball player, becomes frustrated at the heckling from several grey Martians. He throws a bag of peanuts at the Martians and unwittingly kills them.
After the discovery of the Martian allergy to peanuts, humanity fights back by throwing nuts of all kinds at the Martians, driving them off Earth.
Lyons embarks on a deep space mission. There is a glitch in his cryo-freeze, and he is asleep for 500 years.
Later, Harry Deacon comes across a disturbance in time and is able to speak to Jim Lyons in the future. Jim declines to return to the twenty-first century with Harry Deacon, and asks Harry to have Todd Cooper care for the wife (Elizabeth) and son (Jimmy Jr.) he left behind.
During a mission in the year 2522, Lyons' craft is sucked through a time hole.
Snow and Bogle, along with all of humanity, are devastated. All of humanity bands together to find Jim. A general armistice is called and, five years and 10 inventions later, Snow and Bogle are able to travel to the 31st century to find Jim.
Jim declines to return to the 26th century. He asks Snow to take care of the wife (Cynthia) and son (Owen) he left behind.
After finding out from A41397X442 in the 31st century that he is the inventor of sentient robots, Ray Bogle invents sentient robots.
Shortly thereafter, the first robot rebellion takes place. What could have been a major war turns into just a skirmish, thanks to intervention from The Red Plains Rider going back in time to do some good and sort through her feelings.
C. 2934 - A catastrophic event happens on Mars, which the martians designate The A'pokk'alip-sss. This event happens once every 76 years. Much of the recently settled human population of Mars is killed. The martians, along with human marshalSimon Pure, survive in the underground tunnels the martians built to survive the event. Pure's deputy, an android named Rusty, is also killed.
C. 2937 - The populace of the Earth's Moon rebels and attempts to move the moon away from the Earth to become an independent nation. This rebellion fails, however, and in retaliation the Earth forces the youth of the moon to compete in a deadly game of intramural soccer once a year, known as Punishment Soccer, along with other bloodsports, known as the Deathletics.
Simon Pure retires as Marshal on Mars at some point later in the century, and goes into self-imposed exile. Dale Treamain becomes marshal. Dale later goes mad with power and removes all of Mars' escape pods and disaster preparedness plans. As of 3010, these measures had still not been re-instated, as the Mayor of Mars at that time claims that they do not instill confidence.
Late 30th century, probably after 2970 - Croach the Tracker, Sparks Nevada, and the Red Plains Rider are born. None of their exact ages are known, but Sparks Nevada is probably slightly older than Croach and Red. Croach and Red are probably approximately the same age, as they were betrothed as younglings.
As a very young child, the Red Plains Rider is abandoned for unknown reasons on the plains of Mars. She is found by Croach's tribe, given the name G'rop N'go-goth and raised as one of their own.
At some point very early in the late 30th or early 31st century, there is another war, this time on Mars between humans and martians. This war has also been referred to as "The War of Two Worlds"; it cannot be the same war as the one chronicled in the segment War of Two Worlds, however, as that happened in roughly modern times 1000 years before current Sparks Nevada canon (Joshua Malina the actor is alive and is President, and Jim Lyons had yet to become an astronaut). This second war included blue-skinned martians; it is unknown if gray-skinned martians participated.
The exact dates of this war are unclear other than that it was being waged during Croach the Tracker's childhood and ends when Sparks Nevada is on Mars. It is unknown how long this war lasts, but presumably for several years.
Humans are able to win this war partially due to accidentally spreading disease, including SmallOx, to the Martians. Humans using nuts against the Martians also factored heavily into this victory.
Martians sent those infected to convalescence at the location humans refer to as the Old Mission, which Martians designate Ummana’fe.
Sparks Nevada graduates from USSA Space Academy despite failing the final exam, along with classmate Mercy Laredo. At some point, Mercy leaves the USSA to become a bounty hunter.
Either during Sparks Nevada's USSA Academy time or shortly thereafter, there is another War for Earth's Moon. It is unknown what this war was waged over, or the outcome. Sparks Nevada fought in this war with Mr. Horner.
Dale Treamain retires as Marshal on Mars at some point near the end of the war. He marries a gray-skinned martian woman and settles down with her in The Secreted City of Rococoo.
The Red Plains Rider, presumably as a young teenager, leaves Croach's tribe to finish raising herself on the plains of Mars. She and Croach find one another and have a relationship at some point, and later break up before either of them meet Sparks Nevada.
Some time after the War for Earth's Moon, Sparks Nevada leaves the USSA and instead attends Marshal Academy. Later, he is assigned by the Mars-Earth Coalition to be Marshal on Mars.
After the second Human-Martian war is over, the Martians are relocated on Mars. By this time, Sparks Nevada is on Mars, and helps escort the Martians to their new location.
John Steelhands melts the polar ice caps of Mars. Croach the Tracker's tribe and a human settlement are in the path of the resulting flood. Sparks Nevada attaches a wormhole generator to his lasso and lassos up the flood into the wormhole. 
Alternatively, it may have been Deputybot 001, a former automaton deputy of Sparks Nevada's who went rogue, who released the flood on March 5th, 3005.
Sparks suggests Croach attempts to just be a "general help" to work off this onus faster. Croach accepts the duties of deputy without the title or pay.
Sparks and Croach have several adventures together, including encountering K of the Cosmos, saving each other from Lavamen, and stopping a Space-train robbery wherein they attempt to communicate with a "Beep Boop robot".
Shortly before Sparks and Croach began their partnership, Sparks Nevada and The Red Plains Rider meet and briefly date. She is too upset about her recent breakup with Croach, who could not process any emotions for her, to date seriously. Sparks also asks Red to be his deputy during this time, and she turns him down just before leaving.
The event known as the A'pokk'alip-sss returns. Sparks Nevada, Croach the Tracker and The Red Plains Rider discover this is actually The Halley’s Comet Gang terrorizing the planet, and defeat them.
The Red Plains Rider chooses to pursue another romantic relationship with Croach. They leave Sparks Nevada's company.
Rebecca Rose Rushmore arrives on Mars to experience adventures that she previously had only written about. Croach the Tracker and the Red Plains Rider end their second romantic relationship, and Croach returns to fulfill his onus to Sparks Nevada. Cactoid Jim introduces himself to Sparks Nevada and serves as his deputy for approximately five minutes.
Science Beings and Technology Beings both weaponize Mars to use in a war against one another. Their technology cancels each other out. They instead decide to wage a traditional war over Mars. Cactoid Jim, with help from Croach, bloodlessly ends the Science/Technology Being war and millenia-old feud.
The USSA Starcraft Orsino, captained by Gene Peeples and XO Linda Bailey-Peeples arrives at Mars to help with the Science/Technology being war. The radiation cloud caused by the Technology beings causes the Orsino to malfunction and begin the self-destruct countdown. Before escaping with his wife and daughter Erica, Gene sends a Techs and Specs robot to help Sparks Nevada. The radiation causes the robot to malfunction. He glitches and resolves instead to kill Sparks Nevada.
Techs, the robot sent by Gene Peeples, shoots Sparks Nevada and claims the Marshal on Mars job as his own.
Croach the Tracker completes his onus to Sparks Nevada for the first time and leaves his company. The Red Plains Rider and Cactoid Jim are married. The Space Saloon in town rebels, grows arms and legs, then leaves Mars. Rebecca Rose Rushmore returns to Earth.
Cactoid Jim is elected mayor of Mars. Rebecca Rose Rushmore's novel about her time on Mars and her relationship with Sparks Nevada is published.
Cactoid Jim gathers a cavalry of mayors to defend Earth. He meets the cyborgChicky Sullivan, who encourages Jim to run for President of Earth, and becomes Jim's campaign manager. Chicky and Jim board Gene Peeple's new ship, the Olivia, and save Gene's life. They are joined by The Red Plains Rider, who is angry at Jim for leaving Mars and running for Earth President without consulting her. Linda Bailey-Peeples is bitten by a MurderMan, and in turn bites Erica, before Erica kills her. Red is forced to shoot and kill Erica Peeples before she completely turns into a MurderMan and threatens the rest of their lives. As this was done on live TV, Red is branded an outlaw and escapes to Mars as a fugitive. She is put on the Universe's Most Wanted list and has a bounty placed on her head by Cactoid Jim, who also begins divorce proceedings.
Mercy and Sparks fight and break up while attempting to capture The Red Plains Rider to collect the bounty on her head. Croach the Tracker is killed while saving Mercy Laredo from a gunshot from Sparks Nevada.
After spending several months hiding out and taking solace together, Sparks Nevada and The Red Plains Rider return to town and get Sparks' badge back, reinstating him as marshal.
Croach returns to Sparks Nevada and asks him to assassinate Cactoid Jim before Jim is corrupted in his quest for perfection for the universe as Earth President. The future, corrupted, evil Cactoid Jim would destroy the universe as he achieves perfection for it.
Sparks Nevada asks Cactoid Jim to step down from the Presidential race in order to avoid destroying the universe without killing Jim. Jim convinces the populace to vote Chicky Sullivan for president instead.
Evil Cactoid Jim from the future goes back in time to present day to attempt to stop his evil plans from being ruined. He is defeated via Croach the Tracker imbuing the Barkeep with The Force Galactic, who defeats Jim with his new powers and restores everything back to normal.
Croach the Tracker rejoins Sparks Nevada as his full-time companion to repay the onus owed by Croach when Sparks saved the universe. Croach explains that his body's Nah Nohtek consumed V'stalu of the Galaxium, so he is fully himself again.
In the wake of Punishment Soccer being dismantled, the people of Earth decide to clone all of the combatants killed in the Deathletics over the past 76 years and allow them to live freely. Some of these clones relocate to Mars.
Jib Janeen, a Jupiter Spy, comes to Mars to infiltrate and learn all of its secrets. He impregnates both The Red Plains Rider and Croach the Tracker, possibly via kissing them or sporing, while disguised as Sparks Nevada. He later impregnates Felton while disguised as The Widow Johnson.
Sparks Nevada, believing he is the father of Red's baby, proposes to her. She does not accept.
Jib Janeen captures Cactoid Jim, freezes him in carbonite, and sells him to aliens who are mad at him from planet XK9B.
Sparks Nevada hands off jurisdiction for searching for the Jupiter Spy to the USSA. The USSA goes to a Star War with Jupiter over the matter. Captain Fontaine of a USSA vessel (name unknown) is killed by Jib Janeen. Sandy Manlius and his husband Glenn are given the Captain / XO positions in the wake of the loss of the Fontaines. Fontaine's XO and wife, Antoinette, is captured by Janeen, frozen in carbonite, and sold to aliens. The Red Plains Rider gives birth, but upon learning the child is Jupiterian and she was merely the incubator, gives the child to Jib Janeen to raise. She leaves Sparks Nevada's company to rescue Cactoid Jim.
Sandy Manlius is later captured by Jib Janeen and also frozen in carbonite. Glenn travels to planet X27991 to rescue Sandy from Chesh Glutterfane, but he fails and is enslaved. The Red Plains Rider arrives and is able to free Glenn and rescue Sandy, Cactoid Jim, and several other slaves and their loved ones frozen in carbonite.
Sparks Nevada and Croach the Tracker temporarily part ways while Sparks is depressed over losing Red, not becoming a father to her baby due to it being a Jupiterian, and Croach's announcement of his fertilization via Sparks Nevada believed to be due to the events of The Agony of the Feet. After Croach leaves after being mistreated by Sparks, Sparks Nevada tracks Croach down and agrees to raise what they believe to be their offspring together.
After Jib Janeen takes his Jupiterian children from Croach and Felton, Pemily Stallwark arrives to save Sparks, Croach, Felton, and a mad scientist, Doctor Muller, from one of Muller's creations. Pemily had been sent to Mars by Gene Peeples to act as Sparks' deputy and learn from him.
Pemily continues to learn from Sparks Nevada and a little from Croach, as well. She is able to quell her bloodlust and learns to be a responsible deputy.
Chicky Sullivan loads his consciousness into Earth's moon after turning most of the population into cyborgs, re-weaponizes the Moon, and moves it to orbit Mars. He plans to use the leftover weaponry on Mars from the Technology Being/Science Being War to destroy Earth and the USSA , and escape prosecution. He is stopped by Sparks Nevada, Croach the Tracker, the Red Plains Rider and mostly Pemily Stallwark, who is able to activate an EMP which disables Chicky and the cyborg residents of the moon. Sparks Nevada recommends to the Mars-Earth Coalition that Pemily is promoted to Marshal on the Moon to help restore order.
Sparks offers the Deputy position to Red a second time, which she again turns down. Instead, Red studies the Collected Scrolls of G'loot Praktaw in order to try to pass the trials of her B’at-mit zvah, which she did not do in her childhood with Croach's tribe. While she is in the marshal station studying, Los Ninos de Los Banditos Mutantes attack the station to avenge their parents and to uphold their traditions. After the situation is defused and Los Ninos leave, Red asks Sparks and Croach to help her enact a dangerous rite.
Before Sparks and Croach can leave to help Red, the Barkeep, now mayor of Mars, insists that Sparks find a sheriff to help keep order in town while he is away. The Barkeep holds a quick-draw competition, which Bill Clover wins when he saves the day from a rogue automaton. Felton is accidentally killed by The Widow Johnson during the competition, but resurrected by the Barkeep, who still possesses The Force Galactic. Felton and The Widow Johnson begin a romantic relationship. 
Shortly thereafter, Clover is killed by Yessel, an alien who declares himself Emperor of Mars. Yessel is shot and killed by Sparks Nevada, who makes Yessel's robot, Gork, sheriff.  Gork soon enters a relationship with two other robots, Aver-E and Iron Ron, and the three begin to raise a human female child together.
The Red Plains Rider, accompanied by Sparks and Croach, visits the Forest of Tak’slaw (Scary Forest) to enact the martian ritual. Although Sparks inadvertently kills the Yarnato, the guide to the trials, and accidentally completes most of Red's trials for her, Red is judged worthy by the Apotheosis Springs and is bestowed Nah Nohtek.
At a dinner party thrown by the Barkeep and his wife, The Troubleshooter (Harriet Alcott-Jiminy), Sparks Nevada is introduced to Ginny West, Harriet's new troubleshooter partner, and they become interested in one another. A Pleasure Being, a human infected with a new strain of the MurderMen virus which causes death via pleasure rather than murder, crashes the party in order to kill Harriet but is defeated by her instead. The Red Plains Rider and Croach's are infected by the Pleasure Being virus via it bonding with their Nah Nohtek, but Ginny is able to save them. Red and Croach decide to re-explore their romantic relationship in the aftermath of the virus-caused feelings for Croach re-awakening Red's actual feelings for Croach. Croach claims to have never ceased having romantic feelings for her.
Cactoid Jim returns to Mars with Jib Janeen in tow. Jim, who had spent his time after being kept by Chesh Glutterfane ensuring Chesh would go to prison, then stopping crime both small and large scale throughout the galaxy, had ended things with Rebecca Rose Rushmore, who counseled him that he needed to forgive Jib Janeen, as well. Jim brings Jib to Mars in order to apologize to Sparks, Croach, Red and everyone else he had impregnated. Jim then asked Red to return with him to the 26th century to put down a robot rebellion that would turn into full-scale war if not stopped. Instead of choosing, Red travels to the 26th century alone, stops the rebellion, and returns to present time to tell Jim he needs to reconsile with Cynthia and Owen. Red remains to continue her relationship with Croach.
Sparks and Red are nearly killed by Mercy Laredo in an attempt by Mercy Laredo to collect a bounty out on Ginny West. Ginny foils the attempt, and proceeds to have a date with Sparks at The Gelato Stand wherein they solidify their relationship.
Harold of the Galaxium, a representative of The Galaxium arrives on Mars to revoke the Barkeep's Force Galactic, which he has been abusing via, amongst other things, creating many parallel universes to help cure his writer's block. The Barkeep saves Mars from a possible doom at the hands of Keith Gonzalez, the Worldivore. Harold revokes both V'stalu and Keith's Force Galactic from the Barkeep anyway.
The Red Plains Rider encounters an alternate male version of herself and her father, Ezra Seldom, who posseses The Force Galactic. Red's father asks her to leave with him to search the alternate universes the Barkeep created for a version where her mother is alive so they can become a family again. Red, with help from Croach, realizes that she already has a family of their own creation on Mars, and she and Croach declare their love for one another. Ezra leaves with the alternate version of The Red Plains Rider. The Red Plains Rider learns what is perhaps her birth name. Sparks Nevada and Ginny West decide to move in together. 
After being offered the job of Marshal of Earth, Sparks Nevada leaves the job of Marshal on Mars but instead opens up a hardware store on Mars while attempting to decide whether or not to leave the planet, and Ginny West behind. The Red Plains Rider becomes Marshal on Mars, and Croach the Tracker officially accepts the position as her deputy. After The Saloon Doors goes glitchy and steals hardware from Sparks' store to build a robot Croach to love, Croach uses his nanotech to create a mimetic self that lives inside the Saloon's programming for her to love. 
Humans and Martians hold a joint picnic to celebrate their improved relations between the two species. Several martian rituals are enacted to help draw the species closer together. Sparks Nevada announces that he has accepted the Marshal of Earth job, to Ginny's dismay. 
The Bhatu return to Mars, as Overlord Woxmard is planning on blowing up the planet in order to keep the Bhatu from uprising. He is stopped by The Red Plains Rider. Sparks and Ginny attempt to break up, but after Sparks agrees to not take the Marshal of Earth job, Ginny tells him to take it, and she'll go with him to Earth. Sparks and Ginny get engaged. 
During Sparks and Ginny's rehearsal dinner, they are interrupted by a gang comprised of many of Sparks' past robot enemies, including Techs. In defeating the robots, Sparks realizes he does not want to leave Mars. Red and Sparks agree to split the marshal job. Sparks and Croach declare themselves to be best friends. Sparks and Ginny get married, in the Space Saloon, officiated by the Barkeep. After the kiss, Ginny West reveals herself to be a Jupitarian.
Sparks and Ginny honeymoon on the Honey Moon. Sparks attempts to figure out if Ginny is indeed a Jupiter Spy. Croach and Felton attempt to warn Sparks. Barkeep observes, while Red comes to fetch Croach and tell Sparks he'll deal with things in his own way. Ginny confirms she is a Jupiter Spy, but she has a secret. 
↑ 7.07.1Chronicled in MurderMen. Most of the 30th-century dates in this time-line come from learning in MurderMen that Cactoid Jim is up for election as President of Earth in 3012. It is then assumed that most episodes happen roughly in the months that they are recorded, but approximately 1000 years in the future from their recording date.