Stabbin in the Woods

Stabbin' in the Woods is an episode of Beyond Belief.

Audio

Patreon exclusive.

Cast

WorkJuice Players

• Frank Doyle - Paul F. Tompkins
• Sadie Doyle - Paget Brewster
• Spooky Hal (Narrator) - Hal Lublin

Guest Stars

• Bruce - Rich Sommer
• Lizzie - Arden Myrin
• Hadley - Lauren Lapkus
• Cinnamon - Steve Agee

Plot

The Doyles awaken to find themselves not in their usual luxury but chain to a cement floor. Hadley, a teenager, tells them that they’re in a meat locker. The Doyles are confused, as they do not have a meat locker. Bruce, another teenager, explains that it’s not the Doyles' meat locker; it  belongs to a “mad man” who has trapped the Doyles and the three teenagers there.

Bruce turns on the light, and unchains the Doyles. The two teenage girls, Lizzie and Hadley, are unchained, but Bruce has chosen to remain chained. The teenagers explain to the Doyles the story of who the meat locker belongs to: Greg, also known as Cinnamon, a nickname given to him by a bologna-seeking freight truck driver named Edwina.

The Doyles suspect they have been brought to the meat locker by a similar ruse; they were on the hunt for a rare strain of scotch whiskey from France, which they had heard was available in the area. The teenagers explain how they came to be captured: Lizzie and Bruce were looking for a secret place the make out, and Hadley was looking for a quiet place to read.

Frank asks the teenagers if they know anything else about Cinnamon. Bruce heard that he was once a poet who went insane due to lack of credit. Lizzie heard that he had a hook for a hand (or a hand for a hook, in his house). Bruce says he might be an urban legend, which he feels is supported by the fact that they’ve never seen Cinnamon's face since he always wears a mask.

The Doyles agree that it all sounds terrible, but it isn’t really their thing. Frank yells for Cinnamon, who enters, asking if the teenagers have made the Doyles comfortable and given them a tour. The Doyles say they are not comfortable and ask Cinnamon to return their belongings. Cinnamon says that their things belong to him now, and he will show them if they will come and “ride the pony” with him. The Doyles take a pass on it.

Cinnamon insists that someone has to ride the pony, and if it’s not the Doyles it will have to be one of the teenagers. Hadley says they can’t, because they haven’t finished showing the Doyles around, and Cinnamon agrees that that takes precedence “for manners.” Cinnamon says that if they do not behave in a way that shows manners he will take one of them to ride the pony. Cinnamon then leaves so that the teenagers can give the Doyles the tour.

Sadie wonders if it is in fact a literal pony ride, and Hadley says that even if it is people don’t come back from it. The Doyles attempt to leave, as this really isn’t their usual sort of thing, and the noise attracts Cinnamon back to the meat locker.

Cinnamon asks again who would like to come on the pony ride. Bruce tells Cinnamon to take him and get it over with, but Cinnamon doesn’t like how willing Bruce is. Seeing that Cinnamon won’t take those who are willing, Lizzie volunteers, but Cinnamon can sense her underlying fear and agrees to take her. Cinnamon then leaves to sharpen the pony.

Hadley says that when Cinnamon returns they should all rush him so that they will outnumber him and some of them will be able to get away. Bruce says that he believes Hadley would be the one to make it out as she is “tough” and “virtuous.” Cinnamon reappears, ready to take Bruce. Hadley volunteers in his place as she believes she has all the necessary traits to make her a survivor, even though the Doyles attempt to stop her from doing so.

Cinnamon attempts to pick someone else, and to ensure he picks her, Hadley dares him. Cinnamon rises to the challenge and takes her, killing her almost instantly. Cinnamon returns, and this time he chooses to take the Doyles. Lizzie and Bruce are worried for the Doyles, but Frank and Sadie are certain they’ll be fine. It’s not their usual thing, but with Hadley’s death it’s come into the proximity of their usual thing.

Sadie summons Hadley's ghost in order for Hadley to take her revenge on Cinnamon. Hadley kills Cinnamon, and he goes into the afterlife (although whether he’s heading to heaven or hell, he can’t tell).

Instead of going towards her own afterlife, Hadley remains, as she wants to experience the things that she didn’t get to in life, and maybe solve some mysteries along the way. Bruce and Lizzie ask if they can join her, and Hadley agrees.

Quotes

Sadie: Oh Frank, these youths are filthy and bedraggled ... did we overdress?

Frank: Of course not! When in Rome, hold the Romans to your standards!

Notes

Clink count: 1

• In two versions of this show - one podcasted, and one photographed - the script was held up by ad-libbing on the parts of the cast. In the podcasted version, Arden Myrin misreads the line "a hook for a hand" as "a hand for a hook," leading into a conversation about which version would be scarier. In the photographed version, there was a mix-up regarding the pronunciation of "bologna," at one point causing Paget Brewster to indicate to the audience that what they were saying wasn't in the script.
• The podcasted version includes numerous moments in which the audience burst into raucous laughter when Steve Agee is onstage as Cinnamon. Numerous accounts have been put forth as to what he is doing - Tompkins and Myrin mentioned him "sharpening his knife" at a Con interview, and others report him galloping onstage as though riding a pony - but the issue was finally explained by Acker & Blacker in the first Post-TAH podcast episode: his method of entering includes an exaggerated "knees-first" walk, torso leaned back, with one arm raised and the other dragging behind him. Blacker added it was not unlike Agee's body was the bowl of a spoon and his legs the handle.

Continuity

• This is the 208th episode of The Thrilling Adventure Hour.
• The previous episode is The Adventures of Captain Laserbeam - Try Triangle Again, with the short ad "Bucatino Business #10" (TAH #207.1) in between.
• The next episode is The Thrilling Adventure Hour April Fools' Fun-Around part 1.
• The previous episode in Beyond Belief canon is Three Strikes You're Dead (TAH #204).
• The next episode in Beyond Belief canon is All About Evil (TAH #214). In between the two is the out-of-continuity segment of the April Fools' Show, The Thrilling Adventure Hour April Fools' Fun-Around part 3 (TAH #211).

Production

This episode was recorded at Largo on March 21, 2015 and released on May 25, 2015.

• Writers: Ben Acker and Ben Blacker
• Director: Aaron Ginsburg
• Music: Andy Paley Orchestra
• Sound Effects: Cayenne Chris Conroy
• Producers: Acker, Blacker, & Type 55 Films