The Fight Before Christmas is an episode of The Adventures of Captain Laserbeam.
- Captain Laserbeam - John DiMaggio
- Adventurekateer Patrick - Craig Cackowski
- Adventurekateer Dana - Annie Savage
- Anti-Claus - James Urbaniak
- Tyler - John Ennis
- Heroic Hal (Narrator) - Hal Lublin
The story begins with Captain Laserbeam at a Christmas charity event for starving orphans in Apex City's Galatorium. The city's millionaires--except playboy philanthropist Joshua Valor--have come to be entertained by Captain Laserbeam. Just as he is about to regale them with his favorite Christmas story, however, the Adventurekateer Distress Signal summons him to the Clubhouse.
When Captian Laserbeam arrives, however, Patrick and Dana have no news of any recent villainy. Instead, they got Laserbeam a Christmas present, and Patrick got too excited about it and sounded the signal. Though Captain Laserbeam is annoyed, he quickly brightens after laser-unwrapping the gift--it's a laserdisc copy of Jumbo Saves Christmas, the very tale he was about to tell the millionaires!
But just as Laserbeam is about to watch the special with the kids, a wave of confusion passes. In its wake, Dana and Patrick no longer understand the word "Christmas," hearing it instead as an edited beeping sound. Captain Laserbeam deduces that such a dastardly deed was surely committed by Anti-Claus, who is, seasonally speaking, his most dangerous foe at the moment. The kids, though confused about the problem, offer suggestions of possible team-ups. Patrick unwittingly mentions Mr. Marvelous, the Top Notch Man, unaware of recent bad news: He came back from a fight in the Opposite Zone... changed. Captain Laserbeam decides to go it alone and uses a tracking laser to find the source of the anti-Christmas radiation.
Meanwhile, Anti-Claus and Tyler are discuss payroll matters when Captain Laserbeam bursts in. Anti-Claus quickly ensnares him in The Terror Globe, a snowglobe that will atomize Laserbeam into artificial snowflakes. Willpower-based feedback destroys the deathtrap handily enough, but Tyler has a trick up his sleeve: a beam that sends Captain Laserbeam into the Opposite Zone! With the hero gone, Anti-Claus successfully erases all memory of Christmas.
Victory is short-lived, however--Captain Laserbeam returns from the Opposite Zone with friends in tow: the real Mr. Marvellous, who helped him escape, and Anti-Claus' opposite, Anti-Anti-Claus. Laserbeam traps the villain and henchman with a freeze laser, Anti-Anti-Claus restores the memory of Christmas (and beats up Anti-Claus), and the ne'er-do-wells are sent to jail.
- The Fishwife
- Imperfect Palindrome
- The Juvenile Delinquents
- Stark Raving Gentleman
- Johnny Bedlam
- Opposite Dave
- King Mammal
- Ophelia Jones
- Man Scout
- This episode is a part of The Full Christmas Episode from December 2011.
- There are several theme song changes due to it being a part of a Christmas episode.
- In the second verse, the "Na na na na na na na" part is changed to "Fa la la la la la la"
- Instead of "Boss of everything that's just // Honesty, liberty, truth and trust" the lyrics are "Making a list and checking it twice // Gonna find out who's naughty and nice!"
- Instead of "Lasers shoot from his hands and his eyes" and "Man of truth in a world of lies" it's "Jack Frost Nipping at his toes" and "If you saw him you would say he glows"
- "Conquering everybody's fears" is changed to "Spreading gobs of Yuletide cheers" and Captain Laserbeam says "Merry Christmas Adventurekateers!"
The Fight Before Christmas is a part of The Full Christmas Episode from December 2011, which is the 98th episode of the Thrilling Adventure Hour. The previous episode is #97, Behind the Scenes at The Thrilling Adventure Hour with Paul F. Tompkins and Paget Brewster. The next episode is #99, Sparks Nevada, Marshal on Mars - Sweet and Show Down. However, TAH & The Dead Authors Podcasts Present - Chapter 19 - Authors of the Gospels is an unnumbered episode also released by the TAH podcast before Sweet and Show Down.
This episode was recorded at Largo on December 3, 2011 and released on December 3, 2012.