The Night We Never Met is an episode of Sparks Nevada, Marshal on Mars.
- Sparks Nevada - Marc Evan Jackson
- The Red Plains Rider - Busy Philipps
- Folksy Hal (Narrator) - Hal Lublin
- Ginny West - Janet Varney
- Mercy Laredo - Jenny Wade
- The Marshal Station Doors - Shannon Woodward
- Gree Skookum - Toni Trucks
Sparks Nevada, anxious for his upcoming date with Ginny West at The Gelato Stand in a half an hour, repeatedly asks The Marshal Station Doors for the time, until The Red Plains Rider arrives.
Sparks asks Red where Croach is, and Red says she doesn't keep track of him all the time, they still have their own lives. Red tells Sparks that she has a bad feeling about Ginny and doesn't like her. Sparks admits that he likes her so much, and asks the AI to check to see if there's something wrong with Ginny. The AI reports that she's being hacked, and is soon under the control of the bounty hunter and Sparks' ex-girlfriend twice over, Mercy Laredo.
Red says she will only help Sparks if he calls off his date with Ginny, but the AI says it's moot as they're locked into the Marshal Station. Mercy appears as a hologram and says that though Red and Sparks can see her, she can't see or hear them. She introduces Gree Skookum as her buddy from The Little Buddies Foundation. Gree is from Zone 1 of the Earth's Moon, and was training for Punishment Soccer until Punishment Soccer was disbanded. Gree was very disappointed at the lack of killing she got to do, and is now in training to be a bounty hunter under Mercy.
Mercy says that when she got the bounty assignment for Ginny, after performing the Background and Practices check on her, she decided to trap Sparks to lure Ginny. Ginny then arrives, on her way to the Gelato Stand as predicted. Mercy introduces herself and points her guns at Ginny.
Back at the station, the hacked Marshal Station AI informs Sparks that she's unable to assist because she's so hacked. Sparks puts on his robot fists as they can help him try to hack into the AI, and begins attempting to hack.
Mercy tells Ginny she's there to kill her, or possibly not, and that she used to date Sparks. She says she's going to kill Ginny so Sparks will love her, or she won't kill Ginny so maybe then Sparks will love her.
Red says that this is why she doesn't like Ginny, because she knew something like this would happen. Sparks says that Mercy isn't representative of all broken up with women. Red says that when Sparks dumped Mercy each time it made her more dangerous and deadly, so Sparks notes that by that logic, if Sparks and Ginny broke up, she'd just become an even better Troubleshooter.
Mercy decides instead, she could just kill Sparks and then she could stop factoring him into her decisions. Gree notes that ever since the B&P on Ginny, Mercy has been acting differently and Gree wishes Mercy would return to how she was before. Mercy decides to kill Sparks so she can stop thinking about him, and has the Marshal Station AI begin removing all the air in the station. She tells Ginny this, and says that it doesn't matter that their relationship barely started, as Sparks would likely end up with The Red Plains Rider anyway.
Red laments that she finally has something to live for, and now this is happening. They both are offended that Mercy thinks they'll end up together, and the Marshal Station Doors admits that she writes stories where the two of them kiss. So much kissing. Sparks asks Red if that touched a nerve, then asks if she still has feelings for him, and Red denies that she does. Sparks and Red realize that if they ended up together, Red would likely kill Sparks.
Red admits that she's mostly suspicious of Ginny because since she and Sparks are friends now, she doesn't want to see Sparks get hurt. Red says she's new to having friends, but will get better at it. Sparks is still trying to hack in as he and Red gasp for air.
Meanwhile, Gree tells Mercy that she needs Mercy to shoot the quarry without hesitation or emotion, and all of Mercy's emotion and revenge is getting in the way of her education. Mercy realizes what she's doing and tries to shoot Ginny, but her guns don't fire. While Mercy and Gree were talking, Ginny used her wrist-computer to talk to Troubleshooter HQ. She had them turn off Mercy's tech, and had the Marshal Station restore the air.
Ginny says that it's illegal to take out bounties on Troubleshooters. The bounty reverts to the person who took it out, likely a dissatisfied customer from Ginny doing her job correctly. Mercy and Gree leave to hunt the bounty on that person while Ginny tells Sparks via holofeed that the Marshal Station AI has been restored and she expects him to be on time for their date.
- The description for this episode in the podcast feed says this episode was recorded in September 2014, but it was in fact recorded in October.
- The Bechdel Test is referenced in the episode, which then proceeds to pass the test.
- This is the 188th episode of The Thrilling Adventure Hour.
- The previous episode is Desdemona Hughes, Diva Detective - Lights! Camera! Murder!, with the ad A Word From WorkJuice Coffee - "Bucatino Business #3" (TAH #187.1) and the bonus episode The Thrilling Adventure Hour and Wits Crossover Part 1 in between.
- The next episode is Beyond Belief - Scream a Little Scream.
- The previous episode in Sparks Nevada, Marshal on Mars canon is The Once and Future Thing (TAH #188).
- The next episode in Sparks Nevada, Marshal on Mars canon is Custard's Last Stand (TAH #190).
This episode was recorded at Largo on October 4, 2014 and released on November 10, 2014.
- Writers: Ben Acker and Ben Blacker
- Director: Aaron Ginsburg
- Music: Andy Paley Orchestra
- Sound Effects: Cayenne Chris Conroy
- Producers: Acker, Blacker, & Type 55 Films